So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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