i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
