Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
