Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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