You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize