Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I want to fling myself into the sun
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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