she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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