Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
