i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize