my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize