so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
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I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
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I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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