The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I still have a little drunk in my system
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
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