i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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