I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
