I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
