Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
