Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize