Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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