careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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