somebody snuck up and got me drunk
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize