At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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