Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
