i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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