You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
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