Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
A bitchslap is in order.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
