No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
