Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
