Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize