took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize