Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
