help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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