that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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