Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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