Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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