I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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