So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
