Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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