Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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