She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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