Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
