a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
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Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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