i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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