I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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