PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
