would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
