Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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