I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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