you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
