So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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