somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
the condom got lost in my hair
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
