So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
