so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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