There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
