It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My ass is underappreciated
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
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