I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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