Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Holy sore nipples Batman
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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