i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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