I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
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cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
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It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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