i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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