you win again, gameday.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
