the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
How does one acquire holy water?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
