That's intense
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
