To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
