Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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