I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
its liver damage thursday
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
